This is how it goes, or is it?

Six months. That's the time I have to wait for this post break-up feelings to be over. That's the theory right? 

It's been three days since I saw him last. And I'm dying inside. No text messages, no whatsapp, no nothing. How am I supposed to overcome these six months I have ahead? I'm trying my best to leave him alone, let him focus on his exams, because I know that that's what he wants. But what about me? What about what I want? How should I act in a situation like this that is so hard? 

I wonder how people do that around the world. You know, people chat, people get together, people get engaged and marry all the time. Even right now someone's finding their soul mate, I guess. And I'm here. Three days in a row, in the dark of my room, trying to distract myself with the real housewives of New York. They fight, they go at each other, they work, they diss, and I'm here, in the dark of my room. 

Is there hope? Is there not? Can someone hand me a crystal ball? Some tarots? Something? Anyone? 

I guess this is just how it goes, they leave, we suffer. The problem is that I don't think this is how it should have gone. I think this is not the way I wanted my relationship to end. Any kind of relationship I'm invested in, anyway. 

The dog barks and I'm in the dark.